|
NEWSFLASH - 12/2/2005 Nut Catches Groh's Eye Growing speculation suggests that visionary coach Al Groh's Cavaliers appear destined for an invitation to the unofficial "5th BCS Bowl", the Emerald Walnut Bowl, located in the warm confines of San Francisco. Meanwhile, needing one more stunning upset, stodgy obstructionist Frank Beamer's Virginia Tech squad continues to shun progress as it appears unable to avoid a trip to the FedEx Orange Bowl, which is believed to be held in a small southern town.
|
|
NEWSFLASH - 12/2/2005 Groh Further Empties Cupboard Following a disappointing 6-5 season in which his team's lack of success was attributed to insufficient toughness, Virginia coach Al Groh identified the culprits and has jettisoned coordinators Ron Prince and Al Golden. Groh intends to replace them with assistants bearing less effeminate surnames, sources say. The moves clear the way for Groh's upcoming undefeated seasons.
|
|
NEWSFLASH - 12/1/2005 Groh Nurtures International Harmony In a bold move sure to stun State Department officials, Virginia coach Al Groh today stood strongly with the United Nations by having none of his players on the unilateral "All-American" AFCA football team. Meanwhile, Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer continued his isolationist defense policy by allowing two of his players, Darryl Tapp and Jimmy Williams, to make the team. Supporters cite Groh's respect for international coalition building as the primary reason for affordable French wine and cheese in Charlottesville.
|
|
NEWSFLASH - 11/29/2005 Groh Refuses To Steal Spotlight In what can only be described as a selfless act to promote team unity, Coach Groh once again stepped aside and allowed Virginia Tech head coach Frank Beamer to take home the individual honor of ACC Coach of the Year. In recognition of this humble act, NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue awarded Groh with 2.45 years of additional league experience and an electronic singing bass.
|
Virginia Tech 52, Virginia 14
"You are what you are"
-Hokie fans everywhere